| | i feel old. i'm not allowed to call myself a teenager anymore. i've been sitting at home doing very little physically and quite a bit mentally. i've come to some brilliant revalations about my life. 1.) movie sets really suck, unless they're your own. i'm not doing that whole workinbg-on-someone-else's-film-just-to-be-near-a-camera crap. unless im 150% behind the idea and the film, i'm absent on the set. have fun pretending to be bigshots, i don't have that need. i dont need the exhaustion, the dumbasses (there are at least a couple on every set) the "artistes", the drama, the sleepless ness, stupidity, inefficiency, etc. 2.)i don't like rock, especially not in the summer. i like fun, danceable, witty music. i like girls more than guys music-wise. i like european pop, i like techno, i like dance music, i like things with a sense of humor, people who don't take their music too seriously, are willing to have fun with it. 3.) i love dresses. i love heels. i love liquid eyeliner. i love being feminine. im glad im over that im a tough chick tomboy phase every 14-15 year old girl seems to go through. that doesn't mean i don't have opinions or thoughts or am not tough on the inside. i can be pretty and tough, it isn't one or the other. 4.) the theory about boys from a couple of entries below still stands. i haven't got any espresso at the moment, i'm not settling for americano just to keep myself busy. i definately don't need some dude around to have fun. i like having a ton of guy friends around, going to the movies, watching sun-rises, eating chocolate covered strawberries, reading books, reading GODAWFUL fanfics, writing, getting ready for italy, buying new cute shoes, hanging out with my parents. those things make me happy. they are doing a good job fullfilling me and filling up my life right now. 5.)girls are really getting gyped in this decade, no matter what anyone says about equality of the sexes. i was never a huge fan of feminism, but i've begun to see some of their points. i used to assume just because gender didn't matter to me, it didn't matter to other people, but i've realized it does, a lot, and some people don't even realize that they're being sexist. why does it matter what girl singers wear, when male singers can walk around not bathing or changing their clothes for weeks and still be "hot" and "cool"? i'm not for dirty people, but please. men can clean up a bit, and people can shut about what lindsay and britney and avril wore. don't even get me started on the double standards regarding sex. why is it always assumed girls want relationships and guys want random hook-ups? girls can just want a hookkup too... and i've known some pretty relationship needy men.
guys are recognized for their work, girls for what they wear to promote their work. what's up with that?! 6.) i have a lot of work to do. i'm still trying to figure out my adaptation of dorian gray that i want to make right out of college, and my short film that i might shoot this summer in bulgaria, and this novel that i'm thinking of writing, and trying to get a writing agent, and collaborating with katy rose on a music video and re-writing my screenplay that's being produced, etc. so fuck off if you think i'm being lazy. maybe i'm not doing the 9-5 but my head is a bit of a mess right now, and i'll definately get some hardcore work out of it. rants aside, i'm really looking forward to leave the pretentious nyc art scene behind for a year and not doing anything remote-ly film related, going to festivals and carnivals and raves in europe and meeting italians and learning a new language! |
