| | i don't want to leave but i can't make myself stay. part of me wants to stay here, NEEDS to stay here for a few more years. and the other part? that part is in the netherlands, in grad school. what the fuck?
i wanted to go to italy,
i wanted to come back,
now i want to go again.
but i want to stay. i'm sick of suitcases, packing again and again and again. trying to fit this in, and that, and leaving things out and throwing things away and rethinking everything and then puking from the whirlmill that always results when i switch cities and continents and languages and cultures. i am anyone, i am no one. i can get lost in a crowd efficiently in italy, in bulgaria, in new york, in london.
in italy i am italian, in bulgaria i am bulgarian, in new york i'm a new yorker, in chicago i'm a chicagoan.
but in my room who am i? why do i have to keep switching costumes, i'm tired. i switch clothes, i switch accents, i switch foods, i switch my watch. i have 6 different clock-widgets, for god's sake. i dont even know what time zone i'm functioning in. |
| | Posted 4/2/2008 4:15 PM - 9 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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